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Love a Lot Bear: Our Care Bear franchise is on the brink of collapse. corrupted by impure creatures that leech off our sunshine land. I'm talking, of course, about the Care Bear Cousins.

Bedtime Bear: CARE BEAR COUSINS SUCK!!

Love a Lot Bear: I may be Love a Lot Bear, but I can hate a lot too. (points to something off screen) We can no longer ignore the elephant in the room.

Lotsa Heart Elephant: (confused) Did I uh... miss something?

Love a Lot Bear: We must send them all to the Great Cloudkeeper in the sky! Bedtime Bear.

Bedtime Bear: Ya'll know what time it is? It's bedtime! And by bed, I mean ethnic, and by time, I mean cleansing.

(Shoots a rainbow at Lotsa Heart Elephant, decapitating her.)

Other Care Bears:Care A Lot! Care A Lot! Care A Lot!

Don Cheadle: Stop!

Love a Lot Bear: Wow! Famous character actor Don Cheadle!

Don Cheadle: You don't have to do this. I've built a hotel where the cousins can be safe. (Zooms over to the hotel.)

Love a Lot Bear:Yeah. We can keep the corpses in there!

(Care Bears run off past Cheadle and Wish Bear.)

Don Cheadle: No. That's not.. what I meant.. at all.

Bashful Heart Bear: I loved you in Swordfish, Mr. Cheadle. Can I have your autograph? (Pulls out a piece of paper and pencil.)

Don Cheadle: Ahhh... Okay. (Takes the paper and pencil.)

(Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins gather outside the hotel.)

Laugh a lot Bear: I'm Lots of Laughs Bear, and I've gathered you all here for a special, happy celebration! (Starts laughing insanely.)

(Focuses on Care Bear Cousins)

(Bright Heart Raccoon speaks to Lion cousin.)

Bright Heart Raccoon: If it's a special happy celebration, then why am I crapping a load in my drawers?

Brave Heart Lion: Maybe it's part of the celebration

John Corzine: Hello, I'm New Jersey's governor, John Corzine. I hope you've enjoyed this re-enactment of our state's proud history, (Picks up a rainbow) The Garden State. (Takes a bite of the rainbow) Come get in on some of this rainbow!

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