Old Woman: Help! I've fallen and I can't get up! [long pause] I said, I've fallen--
Life Call employee: Pick alert at you service!
Old Woman: Oh, thank goodness. You see, I've fallen and I can't get... [employee tiptoes to the lounge] Uh... mister? Sir? [employee steals television] With my things, you're... [steals her handbag] What are you doi--?