Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Hello Robot Chicken. I viewed your recent Gobots sketch with a total lack of mirth and an abundance of extreme displeasure. The following is my annotated version of your worthless attempt at humor. Watch and learn jerks!
[Scooter runs into the bathroom with a nudie magazine and some lotion]
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': First of all, Gobots do not live in houses. Second of all, Gobots do not masturbate if that is indeed what you are implying.
Scooter: Don't come in.
Leader-1: What are you doing in there?
Scooter: Don't come in, don't come in--! [paused]
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': [sighing] This is not a hilarious circumstance. It is both painful and traumatic as anyone who has lived through it will tell you.
Turbo: So... let me get this straight - you're a helicopter and your name is Cop-Tur?
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Turbo is a good Gobot and Cop-Tur is a renegade Gobot. They would not be conversing as such. Also Cop-Tur is only his lame American name. When the character was originated in Japan in 1981, Cop-Tur's name was Gyro Robo. I have taken the liberty of redubbing* this scene.
Turbo*: So I hear your name is Gyro Robo?
Turbo*: That is very not lame.
[Cy-Kill turns into a girl's bicycle]
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': I won't even dignify this scene with my analysis. Robot Chicken has screwed the proverbial pooch while attempting to skewer the vast and magnificent world of the Gobots. Please go to hell!
Mother: Daniel? Come get your supper, honey.
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Mom, I told my name is Gyro Robo!
Mother: Oh sorry, Gyro Robo.
Daniel 'Gyro Robo': Yes, that's more like it.
Mother: Here comes the Yum-Yum train! Right into the station.
[Baby refuses to eat the food.]
Mother: Toot-toot! Yum-Yum Express coming through! Toot-toot! Next stop, Tummyland!
[Baby still won't eat.]
Mother: Oh no! The bridge is closed! Full reverse engines, slam on the brakes! Come on, women and children first. Oh, dear God, it looks like the tracks are coming to an end! CRASH! Everyone on board lurchs forward! The impact throws people through windows! Arms hanging from the luggage rack, children's faces trampled in panic! The guy in the bathroom breaks his neck and passes out in his own filth. IT'S CARNAGE! BLOODY F**KNG CARNAGE! People demand to know why, WHY would God allow something like this to happen!? OH, THE HUMANITY!
[Baby starts crying and the mother places the sppon with the food in his mouth.]
Mother: Toot-toot! Here comes the Yum-Yum train!
[Baby opens his mouth.]
Man: She'll have the Chef's salad and I'll have...I'll have the steak.
Lobster: Yeah, yeah, you better order the steak, punk! Don't want none of this, bitch! Lemme get these rubber bands off and I'll go clack-clack all over your face, mother-*cuts off*
(A card with "A message from the bees" on it over a hive background appears)
Announcer: And now, a message from the bees.
(Cut to three bees hovering above the grass)
Middle Bee: Hey boys and girls, remember to bee yourself. (Awkward pause) And don't fuck with us or we'll sting y'all at once and kill ya!
- Professor: [Laughing] Ah Projaq, you're a gift of former mad scientists everywhere; with your help I'll use my inventions for good, right boys?
[Lightning strikes Robot Number Five]
- Robot: I live! This is awesome!
- Robot: I'm alive, I'm alive!
[Townspeople scream in terror]
- Robot: Ahaha, yeah; ooh, sparkly!
[Breaks glass of jewelry store]
- Robot: Aw, being alive holds such amazing wonders!
- Police Men: Freeze, uh hands a-above your head sir!
- Robot: I love you all!
[Police shoot at Robot]
- Robot: I want to play too!
[Shoots machine gun through his stomach]
- Robot: What a great game; I win!
[Dog barks at Robot]
- Robot: Look at you.
[Grabs the dog with a harsh grip on dog killing and bleeding the dog]
- Robot: I haven't seen anything so adorable in all my twenty minutes of life; come here you!
- Professor: Well boys I hope you...oh my god!
[Robot sleeps on ground with dog in hand]
- Police Men: Freeze copkiller!
- Professor: What, no!
- Police Men: There'd better be a reason!
[Police start shooting]
- Professor: [Struggling to stay up in gunfire] Aah no!
- Announcer: Vanax, get your smile back; but without the desire to build giant robots.