(Link shoots a Light Arrow at Ganondorf, killing him.)
Ganondorf: Noooo! (implodes into nothingness)
Link: I did it, Princess! I've been through Hell and back to save you.
(Link undoes the chains bounding Zelda.)
Zelda: Oh, thank goodness! Ganon was such a beast.
Link: I was a little bit badass. Yeah, I killed thousands of Octoroks and retrieved the Triforce of Wisdom just for you
Zelda: I truly appreciate it... (silence for a while) Truly.
Link: Yeah, a good fantasy adventure it was. With a wonderful fairy tale ending.
(Zelda shoves him away.)
Zelda: Look, kid, I know what you're going with this and you have to realize that I barely know you.
Link: But I'm the one who-
Zelda: I have been rescued before. It's part of being a princess!
Link: Yeah but-
Zelda: Of course, the first time I was ever rescued, I f*cked that guy's brains out. *gives a slight laugh* Whew! But you're like the eighth... something? I lost track.
Link: But it's my first time! I mean in more ways than one.
Zelda: Look, some cherries you get to pop, some you don't. How long did this rescue take you? 20, 30 hours?
Link: It took me 50 hours!
Zelda: 50?! Wow, you suck! Ugh, look. *takes out a red rupee* I only have 8 rupees - take it for your time. Thank you! Thanks! The grateful kingdom! I'm out.
(Zelda jumps out of the window and walks away leaving Link to sigh in disappointment of not getting laid. The hero turns and held up his hand with a seductive smirk.)
Link: Then, I will save you, my princess.