Robot Chicken Wiki
Advertisement

[Two children are eating Stix cereal (an obvious parody of Trix cereal) when the Stix Rabbit slides in]

Stix Rabbit: Ooh, Stix cereal! I gotta have some!

Boy & Girl: Stupid bunny, Stix are intended for children!

Stix Rabbit: Just give me a little! [Reaches for the Girl's bowl]

Girl: (Gasps) He touched me inappropriately!

[Stix gets sent to prison, where his cellmate is the Cookie Criminal.]

Cookie Criminal: Couldn't lay off the sugar...right?

Stix Rabbit: (crying) But I can't help myself. My mother ate sugar when she was pregnant with me! (Bawls)

Cookie Criminal: You wanna control the sugar? Stop using and start selling. Here, hook this guy up when you're out.

[A prison guard shows up to open the cell door]

Prison guard: Rabbit, you're out.

Stix Rabbit: Really? But its only been an hour!

Prison guard: You in Alabama foo'! An hour's all you get for touchin' a child.

(Cut to the Stix Rabbit and a travel guide wandering through a jungle, coming upon Toucan Sam and a group of worshippers)

Toucan Sam: Selling's a dangerous business, rabbit! Killed the Fruit Brute, Yummy Mummy, even the Cinnamonkey!

Stix Rabbit: Well, I can handle it...where's the stuff?

Toucan Sam: Well, just follow my snout. It's never in doubt.

Jungle Guide: (whispers to Stix Rabbit) A snout that big, it should know more than Einstein. Heh-heh!

Toucan Sam: KILL THAT MOTHERF***ER!

[Toucan Sam's worshippers repeatedly shoot the guide - for quite a while - until he collapses and dies.]

Toucan Sam: (flies over to Stix Rabbit) Well, just follow my snout.

[Cut to the three Cinnamon Toast Crunch chefs, Wendell, Bob and Quello, processing bags of "sugar", with the Stix Rabbit and Toucan Sam beside them]

Stix Rabbit: Wow! Do you have any idea how rich am I going to be selling this cocaine...SUGAR! (looks at the viewers) I meant to say "SUGAR"! Sugar! Okay! (long pause) 'Kay!

[Montage: Cut to Stix Rabbit recieving a bag of cocaine from the chefs. Cut to him swiping a child's chocolate bar and giving him a bag of "sugar" Cut to BuzzBee loading a limo with more "sugar". Cut to the Stix Rabbit laughing maniacally on the floor, surrounded by money and unconscious prostitute rabbits, holding two bags of "sugar"]

[Cut to The Stix Rabbit and Lucky the Leprechaun relaxing topless in a hot tub.]

Lucky: I tell ya, the bleeding boys were following me around, and one little brasser says, "We're after your charms." And so I says, "Forget about me blue diamonds, and worry about me blue balls, ya whore!" Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Stix Rabbit: Ha, ha, ha! Oh, yeah. I never have any idea what you're saying.

(One of Stix Rabbit's henchmen steps into the scene.)

Henchman: (Whispering in Stix Rabbit's ear) Bad news, boss: the Rice Boys are talking to the cops.

Stix Rabbit: (standing up with his censored pelvis out) Bastards are always talking!

(Scene cuts to the Rice Boys sitting down and talking to the police officer in a dark room.)

Crackle: Okay, okay, I'll crack!

Snap: I'll crinkle!

Pop: I'll plop!

Crackle: The Stix Rabbit made us sell the stuff!

Officer: Uh...we only brought you in 'cause someone turned in your wallet.

(Officer holds up wallet. All three Rice Boys look embarrased.)

Pop: Heh...Must-must've lost it.

[Scene cuts to two of the Stix Rabbit's henchmen, along with Tony the Tiger and Cap'n Crunch, shooting at SWAT officers staging a raid on the Stix Rabbit's mansion.]

Tony the Tiger: Use the hollow-point bullets! They're g-r-r-r-roovy!

[A SWAT officer gets shot and dies. The same happens to one of the two henchmen.]

Cap'n Crunch: Their bones will stay crunchy, even when soaked in blood! Ha-ha!

[The SWAT officers kill the remaining henchmen, then Cap'n Crunch, and then Tony the Tiger, whose body plummets to the mansion's porch. The Stix Rabbit opens the front door and attempts to surrender.]

Stix Rabbit: Don't shoot! I give up!

SWAT Officer: He's giving up! Shoot him!

[The SWAT officers fire their weapons, and the scene cuts to the Stix Rabbit in Heaven, and once he notices he has died, he begins to stammer, but becomes overjoyed when he spots a bowl of Stix cereal on a table. He dashes to the bowl of cereal]

Stix Rabbit: Finally!

[an angel enters the scene, she grabs the bowl of Stix cereal]

Angel: Stupid bunny, Stix are intended for children!

[the angel takes out a spoon and takes a bite of the cereal]

Stix Rabbit: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

[segment ends, as well as the episode]

Advertisement