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(In the living room, Red is listening to music on his iPod, while Kitty is typing on her laptop computer.)

Red: Kitty, my iPod's busted! I'm gonna put my foot right up Steve Jobs' ass!

(audience laughs)

Kitty: Oh, hush, Red. I'm blogging.

Red: In Korea, you could get a good blogging for five American dollars.

(audience laughs)

Kitty: Oh, honey. (laughs)

(Cut to the basement. Fez' phone rings. Fez looks at the ID display.)

Fez: Kelso.

(We whip pan to Kelso.)

Kelso: Fez. I just took your picture with my phone. I just sent it to you.

(We whip pan back to Fez.)

Fez: Ooh, what a sexy photo. It really captures my metrosexuality.

(We whip pan over to Hyde, who is upset over the contents of a text message he has recieved.)

Hyde: Okay, who just text-messaged me that I'm a douchebag?

(We whip pan back to Kelso.)

Kelso: Burn!

(We cut to a wide shot of the basement set. Eric stands up from his chair, then begins to address the viewers as Topher Grace, the actor who plays him. A spotlight falls on Topher.)

Topher: Hi. I'm TV's Topher Grace. As you've seen tonight, the precious trappings of our material-obsessed existence become the sitcom fodder of the future. So hey, please remember: Try not to be such a douchebag. Thanks for listening.

(The image of Topher grows fuzzy as a disclaimer appears on screen.)

DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG This message paid for by the Council for Don't Be Such A F***ing Douchebag which recieves part of its funding from the Colonel ASSMaster Foundation Dumpy Dumperton, President

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