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Transcription:The Emperor's Phone Call

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[Palpatine is sitting in his headquarters in Coruscant, talking to two advisors]
Palpatine: Ha ha ha ha, so I threw the senate at him. The whole senate! True story.

Mas Amedda: Oh my god, that is so funny!

Sim Aloo: You made it [Milk from the carton in his hand] come out of my nose!

Palpatine: [His phone rings] Go for Papa Palpatine.

Operator: You have a collect call from - [Vader's voice and breathing] Darth Vader.

Palpatine: [sighs] Oh, I-I gotta take this, hold on. Vader! How's my favorite Sith? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, just slow down. Huh? What do you mean 'they blew up the Death Star?' (Fuck!) Oh! [slams fists on his desk] (Fuck, fuck, fuck)...Who's 'they'?! What the hell is an 'Aluminum Falcon'?! [sighs] Okay, okay, s-so who's left? Are you (shitin') me? Well where are you? Wait a sec, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal? Oh, you must smell like...feet wrapped in...leathery...burnt...bacon. [Holds phone away from ear as Vader obviously yells at him, Amedda looks shocked] Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide. That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet! Do you have - do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my credit? [phone rings] Ah, hang on, I've got another call. [switches line] What?! I'm very busy right now!...Oh. Oh, we-well where're they going? Oh. Alright, um, just get me a Turkey Club. Uh, Cole Slaw, I guess. I-I'm not even gonna eat it. W-w-what're you getting? [Amedda pats his knee as Aloo checks his watch] No, see, I-I always order the wrong thing. No, no, no, I'll just stick with that. Okay, bye - wait, what? Oh, a Cherry Coke. Thanks. [switches back to Vader] Sorry about that. [sighs]...what? Oh-oh, 'just rebuild it'? Oh, yeah, re-real fucking original. And who's gonna give me a loan, jackhole, you? Y-you got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite? Now get your seven foot two asthmatic ass back here or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about 'Padamamay' or 'Panda Bear' or whatever the hell her name is!...Oh geez, he's crying! Heh, heh, heh...[Aloo and Amedda silently laugh]...Hey, hey, hey, hey, c'mon. C'mon, don't do that. Just, just, look, ah, y'know, I'm dealing with a lot of crap right now. Eh, Death Star blown up by a bunch of fucking teenagers, y'know? I didn't mean to snap. [Motions to guests a gesture of 'jacking off', showing Vader's gullibility] Oh, oh, j-just get back here. Okay, okay, bye. I-yeh-I...I love you too.

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