[The title card forms while a wolf howls in the backround. We then cut to Randy's house.]
Randy: Mom, where's my costume?
Mrs. McCormick: Here it is, Randy: Power Rangers costume, just what you wanted.
Randy: It's a girl's costume!
[The doorbell rings.]
Randy: (horrified) My friends are here!
Mrs. McCormick: They won't care what color your costume is.
[But later, his friends laugh uncontrollably.]
Trick Or Treater # 1: Randy's going as Elton John this year.
Randy: F**k you guys!
Randy: Mom, I need a trick or treat bag.
Mrs. McCormick: We're out of shopping bags, honey. Just use this.
[She hands him a purse, and the other kids continue to laugh.]
Trick Or Treater # 2: Nice purse, lady!
[We cut to a neighbor's house.]
Young Man: Here you are, little girl. (gives Randy some candy)
[The others start to snicker at this.]
Randy: That does it! I'm going home.
[They still snicker when Randy unsuccessfully tries to remove his helmet.]
Randy: It's too small. I.....I can't get it off!
Trick Or Treater # 3: This is the greatest Halloween ever.
[A set of soprts car tires screeches behind the boys.]
Trick Or Treater # 4: (fearful) It's Armpit! RUN!
[The trick-or-treaters scream and run, and then we cut to Armpit himself.]
Armpit: (chuckles evilly and grabs one kid) Come here!
[He then throws him on the house behind him, and them grabs two more, smacks them into each other, and takes their bags.]
Armpit: Hey, baby. You, me, going for a ride.
Randy: (frightened) No...
[The two drive off in Armpit's car.]
Trick Or Treater # 5: (worried) Oh, no. Armpit's gonna rape Randy.
[Armpit shakes his car in distress, making it squeak.]
Armpit: (weeping and wailing) Nobody... understands me. I-I tried to fit in, but I'm filled with so much rage. Why did my soccer coach do that to me? (groans and wails some more) You know what, sweet heart? I didn't even get your name.
[A gunshot sounds with a light that is held by a police officer next to the car.]
Police Officer: Are you Randy McCormick?
Randy: (gasping in amazement) Yes! Oh, thank goodness you're here! I'm Randy McCormick.
Armpit: Randy McCormick?!! I'm gonna kill you, man!
[Armpit groans, and drives away into the night.]
Police Officer: Randy, I'm afraid your mom's dead.
Police Officer: It was a fire, son. It appears that she could only write this note that said she never loved you.
Randy: Oh, no!
Police Officer: Right before she shot your dog. (brightening) Have a happy Halloween.
[He then drives away, too, leaving Randy all alone in the night.]