Host: Experiencing a twist ending at the end of a movie can be fun. You can get in on that fun without having to sit through all that Hollywood crap. Enjoy.
(The Crying Game)
(A man is making out with a woman in a robe. He takes off her robe, and there is a censor over her thigh with the word "penis" on it. The man vomits all over the "woman's" body.)
Dil: Are we still going to do it?
(The Empire Strikes Back)
Darth Vader: Turn to the dark side, and join me.
Luke Skywalker: I'll never join you! You killed my father!
Vader: No, Luke. I am your father.
Luke: That's not true! That's impossible!
Vader: And Princess Leia is your sister.
Luke: That's not true! That's...improbable.
Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke: That's...chk...very unlikely.
Vader: And as a child, I built C3-PO!
(Vader is sipping tea and Luke is smoking a cigarette)
Vader: And the force? Well, that's just microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorians.
Luke: Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, I'm out. (walks away safely)
(There is a naked girl standing with a "penis" censor over her thigh)
Camper: Oh, my god! Angela's the killer and she was really a boy!
Robert Hiltzik: Oh, my god! Somebody remembered this movie and wrote a comedy sketch about it!
Ivy Walker: Is anyone there? I come from a village where we think it's 1886. I've broken our taboo about entering the forest to find medicine for my fiancee. Hello?
(run over by a bus, M. Night Shyamalan drives up in a forest ranger outfit)
Ivy: That...that was a really weak twist.
Shyamalan: Yeah, sorry about that folks.
Host: Wasn't that great? And, as an added twist, I'm just three ducks in a man costume!
Host: Goodnight, folks!