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Draco Malfoy: Look Potter, I've taught the Sorting Hat a new trick.
[Malfoy places it onto Harry Potter's head]
Sorting Hat: Virgin.
[Students laugh]
Malfoy: Looks like Potter is "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Laid." Heheh. Guess the monster Pubertis hasn't quite caught up with you yet, huh?
Hermione: Ugh, Pubertis is just a myth, Malfoy!
[Malfoy places the hat on Hermione's Head]
Sorting Hat: Second base!
[Students gasp]
Professor McGonagall: Class, today we shall be learning spells which gives objects the property of wood.
Harry Potter: Property of wood? That's happening to me right now! Pubertis!
[Harry enters Dumbledore's chamber]
Harry Potter: Professor Dumbledore, I think the monster Pubertis has cursed me!
Dumbledore: Yo!
Harry Potter: Who are you?
Dumbledore: Aw, Harry it's me, Dumbledore.

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